Utter exhaustion, yet I probably won’t be able to fall asleep. I guess it could be worse – say diarrhea on the plane?

I was lucky – I was seated separately from the entire group – and my section was 1/3 empty. Quite a relief as a fat guy had the seat next to me. I moved and had two seats to myself. I was still very uncomfortable throughout the flight, though. There seemed to be no comfortable position no matter how many pillows and blankets I used. It must have been 60 degrees on the plane. I probably slept for about half an hour three times during the flight, fortunately none of those times were during the two showings of David Arquette’s magnum opus, "See Spot Run." I did get to see most of Branagh’s "Love’s Labour Lost" which I quite enjoyed – even if it was 5 a.m.

Weird thing about traveling east is the huge loss of time. Going on Egypt time, we didn’t land until 4 p.m. It got dark very quickly and then light again as we flew.

The Cairo airport is disgusting; a bleak desert wasteland. And that’s just the terminal. They zipped us past (not through) customs, though, so it wasn’t all negative.

On the bus, we met Hesham El Sayed, our Egyptologist. He seems extremely knowledgeable, helpful and friendly. Passing through the city of Cairo was depressing. After Mexico City, it’s the most populous capitol in the world.

Our first hotel is a dive – our initial room has a busted air conditioner. Almost forgot to say that it was a chilly 115 degrees when we got off the plane. We received a nice letter from the middle school delegation that preceded us here. The delegation leader, Erin, wrote that it was 145 degrees at the pyramids when they were there. She wasn’t kidding, either. Anyway, our new room is much more comfortable than the first one. Because our Area Director is tagging along, I don’t get my own room. Not that I’m in any manor privacy need here, but I don’t like spending 15 nights with the same person (who isn’t Eileen).

They fed us dinner and breakfast on the plane. Not surprisingly, neither was any good, but there were a bevy of small items one could make a pseudo-meal out of. Shortly after arriving at our notel we had dinner. The appetizers were much more interesting than the entrees – baba ghanouj, a creamy cheese dip, tahini, and a soft but crispy-looking bread. Maybe half-way between pita and a tortilla. Come to think of it, it wasn’t all that different from cardboard, but it did the trick. Excellent spicy meatballs followed. The entrees were a lacklust overcooked steak and chicken. The knives were butter knives, highlighting the toughness of the food.

Almost forgot – while waiting at JFK, we saw Penn Gillette waiting for a flight to Vegas. The kids approached him a couple times and he was very nice to them. He seemed exhausted when I spoke with him (after a few kids had me take his picture). They were excited that he has a urinal in his office (I fed them this tidbit as an icebreaker). He complained that the end of the terminal was devoid of shops or snacks. I grabbed my Pringles and asked him if we wanted some. He said "no" and that was just looking for something to do, but it was nice of me to offer. I said something like it was the least I could do considering how much laughter he had given me. He said, "That’s very kind of you to say." Later we crossed paths again. By this time he had bought a bag of some snack food. Wordlessly, he offered the bag to me as we both laughed.

Tomorrow we get to sleep relatively late and then we’re off to see the Museum of Antiquities which includes the treasures of King Tut’s tomb. Should be neat. The afternoon sounds kind of lame. I just hope we don’t melt or evaporate. Monday is the pyramids day though, and that should be really rough. The good news is that Erin said the accommodations are all top notch after Cairo and she positively raved about the resort at El Gouna. Should be something to look forward to.

Today was rough due to the heat. We were out and about much longer. Tomorrow is the toughest day most likely, but it comes with a major bonus – the pyramids! Back to today… in the morning we went to the Museum of Antiquities, home of the Tut exhibit. It’s the first museum I’ve ever been in without air conditioning (with the exception of the room housing Tut’s jewelry). Tut’s exhibit was on the second floor, and heat rises even in Egypt. Hesham said the temperature was a brisk 112 degrees.

King Tut’s tomb was the smallest of the pharaoh’s tombs – it’s the most famous because it was the only one not grave robbed. It lay underneath another tomb and thus was never found until this century by archaeologists who after seven years of searching had decided to pack it in. As they were picking up their tools from the sand at their base camp, they stumbled upon the entrance. The artifacts at the museum were amazing – over 120,000 items, but the highlights had to be Tut’s jewelry and mask. They didn’t allow flash photography, and since my camera is cheap and only has an auto-flash, I’ll have to get copies from someone else. To protect the artifacts, the guards were on top of anyone defying the rule, confiscating cameras if necessary.

Twenty years ago, a guy hid in one of the sarcophagi until the museum closed. He snuck out in the middle of the night and snatched gold from the Tut jewelry room, hiding the booty in one of the bathrooms. Next morning, the staff quickly noticed the missing jewels and alerted the guards. When this guy tried to leave an hour after opening, they grabbed him and asked for his ticket. Obviously he could only present the ticket from the previous day and consequently cracked under interrogation. He confessed and is still in jail. Hesham believes he will be there for life as they take this crime particularly seriously. He talked about attempting to rob the world of its history.

A few things about prices -- Several places charge camera fees ranging from $1 to $3 or so. Water is moderately priced here, by the way, a large bottle for only $1. The mummy room (including the young Tut’s) cost $8. By that time my feet hurt from standing around so long that I skipped the remains, settling for the relative cool of the first floor marble floor.

Lunch was a middle eastern dream. The falafel was the best I’ve had in my life, or at least since my Israel trip in 1978. So tasty! The Felfela restaurant also had a lovely décor, reminding my companions of an Italian café with its hanging plants and overall ambience.

Holy #*&@, I’m in AFRICA.

The market in Cairo is almost the same as the one I experienced in Puerto Vallarta, Mexico last year – incredibly pushy vendors selling all sorts of trash. There were lots of people smoking tobacco out of sheeshas, which looked like Arabian bongs. The smell was rather sweet, and unlike every other smoke smell I’ve ever experienced, pretty pleasant. One vendor called out to us, "I’ll give you 100 percent discount!" I muttered to someone near me, "I don’t think he knows what that means." A young Egyptian teenager responded, "I give you 105 percent. I’ll give you money." I thought it was pretty cool that he understood the mathematical illogic – in another language.

There are tons of scrawny cats in the market place, cats once being worshipped by Egyptians.

We saw two mosques today. Beautiful, ornate decorations. Had to remove our shoes, of course. At one, the sheik did a simple prayer call. It was pretty powerful. We had to dress respectfully (longs pants, no sleeveless shirts). We passed initial inspection, but at one point a woman came up to one of our female students with a galabeya (essentially a cover-all robe). It turns out she wasn’t staff at the mosque, just an ordinary parishioner who felt the girl’s attire was too suggestive. I was peeved that several tourists who had been asked to wear a galabeya took little care to actually cover up, allowing them to lie open, revealing whatever was supposed to be covered. Very disrespectful.

Our group, by the way, is accompanied by a secret-service-like guy wearing a suit, an earpiece, a walkie talkie and a submachine gun. Both disturbing and reassuring at the same time. Apparently not all tourist groups get this accompaniment; it’s done on a fairly random basis to deter crime and even terrorism.

Today was a day like no other. The most spectacular vistas… and extreme frustration. In the morning we went to Memphis and saw a spectacular statue or Ramses II. I should say the remains of a statue, as he was mostly legless and lying on his back. The artistry was amazing and the sheer scope was almost unfathomable. In Memphis there were many stray dogs, as pathetic as the cats that abound throughout the country.

We’ve seen several obelisks (the Washington Monument is an obelisk) – the ancient ones were all one piece of stone. They would carve them out of the rock and ship them on specially built ships. To stand them up, they would make a mound of earth and drag the obelisk up, bottom first. Sliding the obelisk down the mound, they would use ropes to stand it up, taking care to create a second mound to prevent the obelisk from tipping over. Once they had it secured into the ground, the mounds would be removed.

We were fortunate that the weather cooled off a few degrees (at least in the morning). It was harder to gauge the temperature in the afternoon as the bus’s air conditioner stopped working and so the bus ceased being a respite from the harsh conditions for a few hours.

On the trip to Memphis, Hesham pointed out the semi-completed buildings that littered the landscape. One or several floors appeared completed, but the higher floors were not – either the beginnings of construction or simple a few metal struts poked out of the lower floors. He explained that people own the lots and their extended family lives with them. As they get money they build skyward. When they run out of cash, they stop building and wait for more funds. It makes for a pretty unpleasant skyline.

Cairo is simply a disgusting city. It has no architectural theme whatsoever, there’s garbage and stray animals everywhere, and I never would spend any time here unless I had to. Obviously the climate doesn’t help. The outskirts of the city are barren wastelands and deserts. Satellite dishes appear on the more permanent looking buildings, but not on the lean-tos and huts as they did in Mexico.

Housing in Cairo is a problem unless you own property. Rent is ridiculously expensive and only short term. They have a law that gives renters title to property after living in the same place for two years. Guess when landlords decide to evict their tenants? There’s talk of making it a ten-year law, but that hasn’t happened yet. There’s also the Dead City which is more or less a graveyard tended to by the homeless. My mind wandered when this was being explained so I’m not sure about all the details.

The farmers in Egypt use water buffalo and donkeys mostly, rather than cattle and horses. I spied a dead water buffalo on the banks of the Nile on the way to Memphis. On the way back I thought I saw a skinned mule hanging in a butcher shop, but Hesham assured me that it must have been a water buffalo. A thin one, I guess.

One moment we were along the Nile with lush vegetation, especially palm trees, and then presto-change-o we were in the desert. The word "sahara" actually means desert, incidentally. At the pyramid of Zoser we saw how the first pyramid was built with relatively small stone steps. The camel and mule drivers descended upon us – the tag line was "Egyptian Cadillac." Funny exactly once. These guys are pushier than their Mexican counterparts pawning off their iguana. They like to hand you things and then make you feel obligated to pay. The worst is when they give an ostensibly free camel ride and then refuse to let the rider down until they pay. "I take your picture!" "You buy!" I found that saying "no" and then avoiding contact worked the best. That is until I was taught how to say "no, thank you" in Arabic.

There are 108 pyramids they know of with tomb robbers getting to all but Tut’s. The later pharaoh’s tombs were buried in the sand to prevent robbery. There was a time when sickos ground up mummy bones and used them as part of a drug. Which reminds me – one vendor offered to sell me some drug (probably pot), but I’m reasonably sure no mummy dust would have been included. Though I’m sure he would sell me some "authentic" mummy dust if I asked.

On our trip through a temple by the Great Pyramid we saw three newborn pups cuddling – with the single of the original seven wonders of the world still in existence a mere stone’s throw away, several in our group had to be torn away from the doggies. Pretty bizarre that we’d rather coo at them and pity their existence than gaze in awe at the most incredible architectural achievement in the history of man.

The Great Pyramid is about 500 feet tall. It contains 2.3 million blocks, each five feet high weighing approximately 2.5 tons. Somehow they built it in 30 years. We went inside the second of the three pyramids at Giza. The entrance to this pyramid is at ground level, but is only 3.5 feet high and angling down at a 45 degree angle. They had wood struts on the ramp to help keep balance, along with critically important hand rails. It wasn’t that uncomfortable – if no one was coming the opposite direction. You see, the shaft is also about 3.5 feet wide! There actually is almost nothing to see inside the pyramid as the one treasure room we had access to was completely empty and the sarcophagus room of course had no mummy. No carvings, no hieroglyphics. Nonetheless it was amazing to be inside the structure and to have that much weight overhead. It wasn’t overly uncomfortable inside – until we were on our way out and a large group of people were just coming in. There was a bit of a logjam; the temperature rose rapidly and the oxygen seemed thinner. I got out just in time; right after I left the power went out and everyone inside was in darkness! They had quite a tale to tell about that experience.

The Sphinx was the last highlight of the day. Sixty-six feet high and 210 feet long, it’s nose was probably NOT shot off by French soldiers, but defaced by later Egyptians. With the three pyramids right behind it, it’s difficult not to be blown away by the enormity of these works. The Sphinx is the largest sculpture in the world, by the way.

I’m not going to get into my evening frustration. Simply put our delegation manager (not our Egyptologist Hesham) is an unprofessional jerk, and managed to make our evening an endless (and endlessly boring) affair at the end of an incredibly long day. It doesn’t help that tomorrow promises to be the most boring day of the trip – visits to a church, a synagogue and a glass blowing factory. Zzzzzz.

Today ended up being a short day and there isn’t much to write about. The religious centers were historic but not all that fascinating. There are only about 2500 Jews in Egypt and one active synagogue. The rabbi flies in from Israel every week! I had some strange Jewish consciousness feelings stirring in the synagogue, kissing the mezuzah with my hand. I suppose thinking about the historic oppression of the Jews at that very site was enough to evoke such feelings.

Things actually got worse last night after I finished my journal entry. We have a (home)sick girl, two other girls claimed maintenance stole money from their rooms, the kids are getting progressively worse with the punctuality, and everyone’s a bit irritable. I suppose last night’s debacle has something to do with that. This morning the leaders brought the hammer down and hopefully that will help. One more night in this dump and we’re on the road, or rather, on the tracks.

Things are rapidly deteriorating with the group. Two girls are homesick and have made themselves physically ill. Cliques have formed already. We made a bit of a scene at the hotel regarding the missing money and naturally, the girls eventually found their cash. We were up to 3 a.m. last night, 2 a.m. the night before. Today was got up at 6. We have mostly nice kids, but no one even remotely seems to appreciate our efforts. I don’t think I’ve heard a "thank you" yet.

We’re en route to a Bedouin camp amidst the sand dunes. Finally, the Egypt I expected. We all were surprised by the proximity of the Great Pyramids to downtown Cairo. You can see Pizza Hut from the Sphinx. It’s a horrifying blaspheme.

I’m looking at desert wasteland out the window of the bus. In the distance I can still see high tension wires. I hope the Bedouins don’t have television.

I’ve been lazy keeping up in my journal – a combination of exhaustion, relaxation and boredom. There’s some time now, so I’ll do my best to catch up.

The Bedouin camp was really a retreat, an oasis in the desert near a fresh water lake (Nile water). There are five such protected oases in Egypt. The water was clear and blue – there was one spot that looked like an Aruba commercial. Some of us went for a rowboat excursion to three waterfalls. Our rower washed his face off with the lake water – and then drank some! He told me, "Safe to drink." I judiciously passed.

That evening we boarded the sleeper train. The rooms were tiny, but the beds were comfortable enough for me to sleep well. What could have been a rather unpleasant journey turned out harmless. We stopped at Pizza Hut before boarding the train – which was key, because the train dinner was a most unappetizing mix of mystery foods.

Our hotel in Aswan was a true four-star hotel. Atop a hill overlooking the Nile and the town with an enormous pool. All the accouterments of an equivalent hotel in the U.S. We took our first showers in several days, relaxed by the pool, and had an amazing lunch. Dinner and breakfast were popular with the group, although not my taste. Nonetheless the hotel, along with the oasis, were greatly relaxing bookends to the train ride.

I didn’t take notes during our historical visits, though we saw several interesting sites including the first documented instances of medical science and the alphabet. Before that we saw the site that is – by legend – the origin of the Arabian Nights tale, where Sheherezade told her stories. The big disappointment was the Aswan Dam. I've seen the majestic pictures of this enormous structure, but for security reasons, they prevent tourists from getting a good view. Atop the dam, there’s nothing to see, and there are no spots along the coastline for a good photo. I guess the pictures I’ve seen were taken from ships on the river.

But the Nile Intrepid makes up for everything I’ve complained about. Our cabin is at the front of the ship and we have views from the front, the front right and the right. The beds are comfortable, they clean the cabins TWICE a day, and although the bathroom is tiny, the water pressure is strong. Yesterday’s dinner was the best of the trip – onion soup (no chicken!), good steak, sliced potatoes with onions, string beans and the most delicious, unbelievably rich chocolate cake-like dessert, sort of a heavy mousse.

On the top deck is a tiny swimming pool, a sunning area and a shaded area. Deck three has the dining room, deck two has a lounge with the first comfy chairs and couches we’ve had. The lower three decks all have cabins.

We have 22 in our group plus a few folks from Abercrombie & Kent, our sponsoring travel agency, aboard. There are 50 crew members – almost 2 to 1! We arrived yesterday afternoon and have two more nights with stops along the way.

Yesterday we played soccer with A&K employees (or maybe they were really just locals). It was only about 100 degrees. It wasn’t the most impressive display of skill; I did manage five or six shots, but only one GOOOOOOOAL.

At night we got Henna paintings by two artists. The male was much better than the female, so I chose him to make an ankle painting. Should have shaved first because my leg hair hampered his drawing. Not only was he a better artist, but she watered down the ink and all of her drawings faded to mere stains within a few hours. Hesham speaks highly of these and other Nubians, who keep their bloodline pure by never marrying outside their own communities. They are seen as being extremely trustworthy, reliable and hard working.

We’ve got yet another ancient temple to visit this afternoon; I’ve seen enough of them at this point. I’d actually prefer more of the modern history, although it doesn’t appear we’re going to do much of that.

This is the ninth day of the trip – I am looking forward to the snorkeling at El Gouna, but I’ve had my adventure and would be just as happy to return now. I don’t think I’m up to a three-week trip to Australia and/or New Zealand, even if money (revenue, that is) wasn’t an issue. I miss Eileen, the cats, baseball and TV a bit too much at this point. I suppose moderate temperatures and fluent English-speaking people all about would help, but not enough. Add in the rigors and annoyances that come with being a Delegation Leader, and I’m reasonably certain this is a one-time experience for me. The lure of Australia, China, New Zealand and South Africa is strong – especially when it’s relatively free of expense – but I can’t see giving up half my summer next year AND being without my wife.

Amazingly I’ve avoided sunburn (so far) – the only discomfort I’ve had besides dehydration and related fatigue/headaches was the scalding of the bottom of my feet in the sand dune at the oasis. The sand felt great – at first – but became increasingly hot. I felt like Ahrens without my camel as I walked by myself towards the hidden beach at the oasis. I imagined how long (or short, to be accurate) I’d last if I drifted away from the lakeline and into the dunes. Dead within 15 minutes, I’d venture to say. I thought I burned the tops of my feet sitting in the rowboat, but that didn’t come to pass.

We took a second felucca a couple days ago and rode in a small motorboat yesterday. This afternoon we’ll be traveling by horse and buggy.

I slept half the day at the luxury hotel, refueling somewhat, but probably also out of boredom. Did I mention that I thought these trips were too long? And that it’s Too Darn Hot? Thanks Lord for the AC. (Hesham starts each day with "Another beautiful day, thanks Lord.")

I thought I was done writing today, but my shower has to be chronicled. Unlike the two previous showers where the shower nozzle was located in the middle of the tub/shower area, the ship’s shower is in the conventional spot. It’s so narrow that one side of your body touches the curtain at all times. The shower is actually recessed, an inch or two lower than the toilet/sink area. During my first shower, I noted that the nozzle drifted to the right due to the water pressure (and a loose screw), and that the water didn’t entirely stay in the shower. Knowing this, I rotated the nozzle to face the wall before I switched the water from the tape to the nozzle. The second I flipped the switch, the nozzle violently did a 180 and ALL the water sprayed my clothes, the towels, the mirror, the tissue box – everywhere! It took a few seconds for me to grab the nozzle and prevent a premature drowning death.

I’m thinking of showering while I sit on the toilet – that’s how small the shower is.

So, by the way, we’re cruising down the Nile River in a luxury yacht. The Nile is that river in AFRICA. Palm trees, goats, donkeys, water buffalo, sand, desert, huts, tombs. This can’t be real. I contend it’s all a hoax. They probably built the pyramids in the 60s to attract tourists.

The temple visits are beginning to blur together, although each one is majestic and unique in some historical and archaeological way. Fortunately, tomorrow is the final ancient history day (I think). We’re all wiped out, entirely sick of the omnipresent, oppressive heat. Tonight we’ve got the sound and light show at the Karnac temple and then it’s the last night on this wonderful ship. We’ve got a one-night stay at a hotel in Luxor after that. We’re in Luxor now, but I think we’d all prefer the ship to the hotel, at least sight unseen.

My mind is fixated on the joys of air conditioning; I can’t think of much else – except my triplet home thoughts again… wife, cats, baseball. Tonight we find out whether we’ll have 1 ½ or 3 ½ days at El Gouna. If more than half of the kids want to do the Mrs. Mubarak visit, we’ll leave a day early. I’d much prefer a day at the resort to the visitation – paradise or an extra night in Cairo?

Obviously I stopped jotting down fun facts several days ago. There is nothing more I want/need to see in Egypt. I just want to relax in comfort for the rest of the time, but with leader responsibilities, that isn’t easy.

Virtually all of the kids voted to pass on day 3 at El Gouna in favor of the Mubarak visit. If we were going to meet the President, I’d probably share their view, but chances are it’s going to be just the First Lady. We still don’t know whether we’re going to get a new hotel.

Last night I ate ravioli… stuffed with undetectable amounts of chicken. Fortunately, we discovered this before I had seconds. I took Benadryl and became a zombie until after midnight when Kathy woke John up to inform him that more than half of the delegation was out after curfew, either in the wrong rooms or missing altogether. Mutiny! The punishments will be doled out today after lunch – less free time at El Gouna.

Yesterday it was probably no hotter than the previous week, but I’d reached my breaking point. I stayed in the bus during the visit to Queen Hatshepsut’s temple – and most of the group came back feeling they had wasted their time, so it worked out well for me. We went to four tombs in the Valley of the Kings and the Valley of the Queens. Several still had the original colors because they had been sealed for so long. Very beautiful and inconceivably elaborate. Hesham explained that they used fans and plants to increase the oxygen supply along with wax torches and a series of mirrors to illuminate while they carved and painted. The typical carvings were etched into the rock; however some places had raised carvings, meaning that the rest of the stone had been removed, which is far more difficult and time consuming.

Egypt is clearly very concerned about the safety of tourists. There are military men all over – sharp black uniforms topped off with berets, and usually submachine guns. In the cities, tourist police predominate. They wear white uniforms, carry handguns, and can be found on virtually every corner. When we travel long distances or in certain areas we are escorted by one or two vehicles filled with police/militia. Right now, traveling from Luxor to El Gouna, we’re in a convoy with other tourist buses and vans. We can’t go when we want – it’s the law – we can only leave at 8 a.m. or wait until another approved time (not sure when, but if there’s another approved time for today, it’s late in the afternoon).

El Gouna is an amazingly quiet resort town with beautiful, uniform architecture influenced by the Moorish style with a dash of Venice thrown in. When we walked through the hotel we were pleased – the pool is on a ledge just above the clear blue water of the lagoon. However, we found a single double bed in our room. They had no way of remedying the issue for the first night save a cot. After I lost the coin toss I sat on the cot and found it had less support than a hammock (and hammocks, of course, don’t have metal bars). I removed the mattress and slept on the floor. Unfortunately the cabin reeks of some tropical fruit that reminds me of body odor (turns out it was guava). Initially not the paradise we’d envisioned.

Dinner was at another Bedouin camp, this one slightly more authentic than the previous one (which seemed a tourist site). We sat on pillows on the ground and they performed an hour’s worth of traditional dances. The highlight was an amazing whirling dervish who spun over 300 times (yes, I counted).

And today was as good as it gets. We took a motorboat out on the Red Sea, about half way to the Sinai peninsula. If it was as hot as previous days, it sure didn’t feel it. The wind was pleasant and the waves and mist kept us quite comfortable (if a bit salty). The sea alternated various shades of turquoise. It was absolutely stunning. Naturally I forgot to bring my camera.

The ultimate was snorkeling. The coral itself was a site to behold, but the fish!! There was the parrot fish, luxurious purple tone with a bird-like beak; the pilot fish, grey with iridescent purple outline on its tail; the rainbow colored angel fish. We saw a cousin of the manta ray (forgot the name). I had almost no problem with my equipment and stayed in the water as long as I could looking at the array of nature before me.

We also swam for awhile in the sea. I might be slightly burned – guess I’ll find out tomorrow. I definitely got some color. We were completely covered in salt by the end of the day. Twice I cleaned off a significant film from my glasses. The meal was just adequate (the kitchen was tiny), but we were so starved all we cared about was that there was SOMETHING to eat. The ride back was filled with positive vibes from the day’s excursion. This wasn’t as unique as the pyramids, but it was the best day easily. I think everyone felt that way.

Yesterday was like the day at the pyramids – very good and very bad. The Mubarak visit panned out – and rather than taking an 8-hour bus ride, they chartered a private plane for us and we got there in no time at all thanks to Scorpio Airlines (I kept thinking of Albert Brooks’ super-villain character on The Simpsons). It meant another short night of sleep, though. We gathered in the lobby of the Sheraton 5-star hotel in Cairo and had our kids practice various presentations to the First Lady. John badgered the kids into singing a song – they settled on the appropriately brief (based on their ability!) "My Country Tis of Thee." The boys sounded awful, but with some inexpert coaching from me, they ended up passable. Fortunately, we had more girls than boys.

The presidential palace was tightly guarded (shocking!) and my shoes set off the metal detector even though they’re not steel-toed. We waited for a bit in an elegant salon and were briefed by the A&K bigwig who shepherded us through the visit. We were then ushered into the meeting room, quite suitable for a palace. The ceilings had to be 50 or 60 feet high. There was a reception line and we mumbled our introductions to her. The kids put on their show, she gave a talk and we had a short Q&A session (with questions written by Kathy and me).

She was a gracious hostess giving what I’m sure is a fairly standard address for her on literacy and cross-cultural awareness. She threw in an anti-smoking bit and repeatedly emphasized the importance of family. The most interesting bit, I though, was when she answered the "demands on your private life" question (which I always like asking public figures). She bemoaned the fact that she’s more or less been a prisoner for "too long." It was a refreshingly candid response. She even talked about how she sometimes has to pretend to be in a good mood and smile phonily when she has a headache.

As a First Lady she said there is no small talk; everything is "big talk." She isn’t too keen on modern technology, arguing that most kids are spoiled by easy accessibility to so much technology. She talked about the first time she saw an electric fan and how essentially it was met with hosannas in her home. Now everything’s taken for granted.

After we took a group photo (and individual photos with the delegation leaders), she invited us to see one of her libraries (her pet issue) and the sound and light show at the pyramids. Not wanting to appear ungracious, right after eating lunch (at 2:30 p.m.!), we went to the library. I should mention she also showed us an incredibly huge and gorgeous reception room on a very abbreviated tour of the palace.

The library was weird. Bedlam on the children’s floor; they have a summer camp where dozens of kids went from station to station, putting on skits, doing arts and crafts, picking out books. Sixty percent of the books were in Arabic, with the rest in English, French and German. Kids start learning English very early, with the other two beginning with ages 9 and 10, respectively. Unfortunately that floor was not air-conditioned, and when they took us on an outdoor terrace, I thought I was going to die from heat prostration and exhaustion.

I should mention the bathrooms in Egypt almost always have an attendant who does important work like holding the door open or handing you three pieces of toilet paper to dry your hands after washing. They expect you to tip them about a pound (which is only a quarter, but is inconvenient, especially if you don’t have the money in that denomination).

Our new hotel looked nicer than the other one in Cairo – at first. But one of the two elevators is broken, our room was tiny, the AC barely worked and we had no more than a trickle of hot water in the shower. We had quite an adventure trying to remedy that problem, ultimately switching rooms when they couldn’t fix it. There were more irritations involving pillowcases and omelets that I won’t bother detailing, but writing it here will allow me to remember.

Then we went to the second sound and light show. These things are unspeakably boring. Lights go on, lights go off. Pompous, overblown narration and ridiculously loud music. Not to mention the sounds of downtown Cairo discos. Several kids managed to fall asleep despite the noise, the idiotic camera flashes, and the uncomfortable seats. Lucky bastards! It was 45 minutes of hell. But the night would get worse.

For dinner, we ate in a Rainforest Café clone (with a Spanish disco twist). The décor was great. The ambiance (blaring Spanish dance music) was not. The service was virtually non-existent. We didn’t get to the restaurant until about 10:15 p.m. This was a day that began at 5:30 a.m. (and a previous night’s curfew of midnight, tacking on the time it took to pack unexpectedly and short night the night before…). We didn’t get DRINKS until 45 minutes after we arrived. The appetizers took another 20 minutes. By the way, there were only four other patrons in the restaurant. They REALLY like to take their time with dinner.

One of the kids’ table had their heads down on the table, sleeping despite the ear-splitting noise and the disco search lights. In all it took two hours despite several of the kids and my requests to speed things up. We got home after 1 a.m.

Today, to fill the extra time, we visited the Red and Bent Pyramids, going inside the former. Unlike the second Great Pyramid, one had to climb way up the pyramid to enter – and then promptly take the shaft WAY down. The sarcophagus could only be reached after climbing up four flights of recently installed stairs. When they built these things they stacked mud higher and higher to get up, and then removed the dirt when they were done. My legs are screaming at me from all the climbing.

Finally, the three leaders and one student raced the clock at the Kalini Market to find Hesham a suitable gift. We used virtually every second of the 50 minutes to pick out a gold key chain. He was a wonderful tour guide and truly the unofficial delegation manager. When he was around, all of our problems were instantly solved with all issues addressed. Without him the trip would have been awful. I had my share of frustrating moments on this trip (many of which I decided not to write about) but the two days at the Great Pyramids and on the Red Sea were more than enough to make up for them.